There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
