i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
