we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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