If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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