I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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