You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
