At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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