I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
