You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
