I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
