I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
this will be a night to untag.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
We were destined to go to rehab together
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Randomize
