the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
