It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
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our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
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I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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