ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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