that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
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