i can't believe i had my finger in that
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
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Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
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How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot