I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
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