There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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