How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
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So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
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I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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