Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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