6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Randomize
