the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Me. At least after what I've been through.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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