I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
