for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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