so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
