Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
