So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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