He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Randomize
