hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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