you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize