I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
