Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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