Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
