Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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