I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
