To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
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