yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
