When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
