Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
