I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
