I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize