Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
