i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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