Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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