Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
