i would punch a child for taco bell
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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