Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
