when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
