So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
