Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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