Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
