I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize