I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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