Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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