Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
