Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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