where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
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I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
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Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.