Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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