that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Send help, water and tortillas.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit