I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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