The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
