i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
