I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
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