am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
