they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
