I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
