I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
