My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
