Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
